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Weekly Mindfulness Support Blog - When One Door Closes

Hello and welcome to this glorious Friday, July 2, 2021. Today is a rare and precious day that will never come again. Please stay safe this weekend and do you best to protect the welfare of animals from loud fireworks.


We live in a land of opportunity. Some people have too many opportunities and others have too few. Those who have too many opportunities often become ungrateful and take for granted what so many others are denied. And, well, those who have too few are often victims of an oppressive society. While this is an unfortunate fact, most of us seem to have an abundance of opportunities. Sometimes, we refer to these as doors.


Most of us have heard the saying, “When one door closes, another door opens.” Though this is usually the case, what we don’t often realize is that when one door closes, we’re actually standing in the hallway.


If we reflect on our lives, we will likely agree that we spend an extraordinary amount of time looking for the next door. Though we may find and eventually walk through a door, even if we are initially experiencing excitement, it’s not long before we are in search of the next opportunity.


We spend much of our lives in hallways between the doors of opportunity. When standing in hallways, if we are not experiencing discontent, stress, worry, or if we are not deeply concerned about what will happen next, we are most likely overcome with excitement and anticipation. Seldom are we peaceful and content when standing in a hallway. Seldom are we peaceful and content, period.


If we find ourselves unexpectedly unemployed or if we’ve gone through a difficult break-up, a feeling of disorientation and uncertainty is a normal response. Here, being in a dark hallway, it can of course be scary. Nevertheless, we don’t have to make the hallway of uncertainty worse by thinking we shouldn’t be here, by wishing we were someplace else, or by doing things that distract or numb us – often to own detriment. The hallway of uncertainty is precisely where we need to be to make that next transition. Hopefully with awareness and done so skillfully.


If in fact we must be in a hallway for a time, we may as well make ourselves comfortable. We can get ourselves a cozy sofa, an end table, and a lamp. We can make ourselves a cup of tea and know that in time, a new opportunity will arise – a new door will soon materialize. This isn’t to say that we just sit around and wait. The point is to be comfortable and present in the meantime.

Another type of hallway is the hallway of anticipation. What often happens here is that we can’t be happy until we walk through that door. Unfortunately, the door to that excitement seems miles away. Despite running towards it, it seems the door gets no closer. Then finally, one day, it’s there, in front of you, and your hand is on the knob. You open it, and yes, you experience that temporary sense of happiness and fulfillment. Why do we anxiously run down the hallway if it doesn’t make the door appear any sooner? Again, in the hallway of anticipation, we can get a cozy sofa, an end table, and have ourselves a cup of tea.


There is yet another type of hallway. Initially this hallway looks like a room. After further investigation, however, we find that the room is simply filled with a bunch of other doors. This is the hallway of endless possibilities. In our society, I think that this is the most common type of hallway. There are so many possibilities, so many opportunities, that we just wander about. Seldom do we deeply engage with what the room has to offer. We just can’t seem to settle in and be at peace.


Regardless of the type of hallway you find yourself in, of uncertainty, anticipation, or endless possibility, a comprehensive Mindfulness practice can help you learn to be comfortable with the current reality. A Mindfulness practice is a door that opens inward. It is here where we find the sofa, the end table, and the steaming cup of tea. Whether you are standing in the hallway or in a room, it is through the door that opens inward that we find the ability to experience peace, contentment, and joy. You are currently standing in this hallway – the door inward is always available, the knob easily within reach.


When you’re ready to close the door on stressful uncertainty, anxiety, worry, fear, or even on debilitating anticipation, if you’re ready to open the inward door, let me know. I’m here to help. Working 1:1, we can develop an effective and productive personalized Mindfulness practice that fits you, and your schedule. Regardless of where you’re standing, you can learn to be more comfortable, even in the hallway.


You are Loved by me, Unconditionally!

Dan



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