Today, Friday, August 16, 2019 is a rare and precious day that will never come again. How are you choosing to live it?
We had such a tender group discussion last night. Thanks to all of you who have ever blessed the room with your presence and for helping to create a safe space for our blossoming community – a space where we can share from the heart.
If you can’t see the light at the end of a tunnel, be that light.
Let’s face it, the world is a messy place. There is an abundance of hurt, of pain and suffering. In so many ways we want to be the solution. We want to fix other’s (and our own) problems. Unfortunately, some things we can’t fix. Most things are out of our control – we are powerless to bring about solutions to what we perceive is the problem. But we can ease suffering. Each and every one of us has the capacity to be a beacon of inspiration, compassion, understanding and love – we can be the light.
Many of our problems are exacerbated by our aversion to what’s happening. Maybe you or a loved-one is ill, maybe a family member is experiencing the deteriorating effects of aging, or maybe you or someone you know was involved in a debilitating accident. Arguing with the reality of what’s happening doesn’t help. In fact, it makes it worse. Our inability to accept our lot brings about a tremendous amount of suffering. We don’t have to live like this!
Accepting the messiness of the world does not mean we have to approve of and/or like it. It simply suggests that we understand that this is what’s happening, in this moment. When we’re unaccepting of a situation, we can’t see its nature, its impermanence, its opportunity. However, when we’re accepting of whatever is happening, with an open and loving heart, with the understanding that it’s temporary, that there are causes and conditions which created it, that this messiness is a part of life and absolutely no-one is immune, then we have the ability to walk with our heads held high, with compassion, understanding and love. We can be that beacon of light which helps others turn towards their pain.
When we have an aversion to the inevitable messiness of life and try to walk around it or pretend it doesn’t exist, we can’t grow. When we avoid it by anesthetizing ourselves with shopping, working, eating, music, exercising excessively, when we try to look away, when we deny that it’s happening, when we medicate it, though it seems to (temporarily) ease the pain, the duration lengthens, and the intensity increases. When we distract ourselves from the reality of pain, all we’re really doing is reinforcing our aversion which eventually leads to even more suffering. But if we can allow ourselves to experience the hurt, if we can allow ourselves to sit with whatever is happening, it doesn’t seem to last as long, it eases the pain. I can’t put words to why this happens, but it happens.
We’ve spent so much time seeking pleasure and avoiding pain that when messiness strikes, we don’t know how to handle it. We tend to act as if it shouldn’t be happening and do all we can to quickly find our way back to pleasurable feelings. When we allow ourselves to be fully human, with the understanding that pain is just as much a part of life as pleasure, when we embody the truth of impermanence – the idea that, “this too shall pass” – when we allow ourselves to experience pain, even embrace pain, then we become a source of strength. We become the light.
Maybe you’ve noticed that when you tell a trusting friend or group what’s going on in your life, it takes the pain away, or at least eases it. Maybe you’ve noticed that when you’re hurting and someone sits with you in your pain, they don’t have to do anything. Somehow, just sitting with you “fixes” you without them even trying to fix you. It’s as if they absorb your pain and transform it to love. It’s magic!
Through the help of many many many others, despite all the messiness, I’ve found peace in my life. I’m no-one special and I struggle meow and then and I have fears and I’m an imperfect human. But I found a solution to my suffering through Meditation and Mindfulness and it feels selfish not to share it. We need each other! We need community. We don’t have to do this life thing alone.
Thanks for being the light in my life!
I love each of you and there isn’t anything that you can about it.
With Love and Light,
Dan
