Welcome to this glorious Friday, October 11, 2019. This is a rare and precious day that will never come again!
Yesterday, I woke feeling grumpy and tired! Getting out of bed felt like pulling myself from a tar pit. The further I got from bed, the harder the sticky strands tried to pull me back. An old friend refers to these as, “gravity strings.”
Eyes half-opened, I managed to put grounds in the coffee press and water in the kettle. I made my way to the gas fireplace so that I could heat up a bewildered near-freezing cat – eyes crying, “why would treat me so poorly?!?!” Next to the mantle are some Oracle Cards designed by Sonia Choquette. The sixty-two-card deck offers poignant suggestions to help overcome your ego and live in harmony with your Spirit. My China-residing friend-girl loves these things and in them finds much meaning, inspiration and direction. I love seeing that in her. Me, I never really felt a calling. Nevertheless, when DC left, she asked if I would pick her Oracle Card each day. I lovingly accepted. I figured why not pick one for myself. So, I have been. Yesterday I picked, “Start Anew.”
This has been a theme my teacher has stressed since I met him. In his literature and guided meditations, he reminds us that each moment is a new moment. And, in each new moment, we have an opportunity to begin again.
I’m currently enrolled in a four-month Mindfulness in Recovery facilitator training course for addiction treatment professionals. Each day we are asked to set an intention. The suggested intention for yesterday was to, “watch our inner dialogue.” How appropriate!
I’m getting better at this Mindfulness stuff meow.
Much of yesterday morning, I felt sluggish, lethargic, weak and exhausted. In the past, before practicing mindfulness, my mind would have convinced me to stay in bed, give up, focus on my miserability, drag everyone else down, be a stick in the mud, and ruminate on what a torturous life I lead. Woe is me. My whole day would have been defined by an ephemeral state of lacklusterness! That was not my experience.
When I woke yesterday, I recognized how I was feeling tired, sluggish and unmotivated. Instead of succumbing to the desire to press snooze a half dozen times, I drug myself from bed. When (almost) everything in you is begging you to stay in bed, it’s not easy to call to mind all the rich opportunities that await you. I am wholly grateful for the Choquette and Bruna insight which suggests that while my present moment is defined by my past experiences, my future does not have to be determined by that same past. If I’m present, I can choose to start anew in any moment.
With gratitude for the positive reminders that I have the potential to begin again in each moment, I found that as I drank my coffee from a mug that seemed to weigh a few pounds more, as I sat like lead on my meditation cushion doing my best to follow directions and not fall asleep, as I donned my clothes, as I prepared the house for a 9:00 AM Mindfulness Foundations Course start time, I could feel the gravity strings trying to pull me back to bed being severed one by one as I let go of the pervasive thoughts trying to convince me that my day started out bad and it’s always going to be this way.
I’m grateful for the “start anew” and “watch your inner dialogue” intentions. They motivate me to diligently and self-compassionately practice staying present which helps me to recognize and let go of insidious thoughts as they deceptively edge their way into my rich and meaningful day.
I love you and there isn’t anything that you can do about it.